Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
