somebody snuck up and got me drunk
just tell him i said nine months
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
