The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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