A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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