I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize