Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
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