let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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