I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He did a backflip because drugs
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
