i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
