you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I want to be your penis for a week.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
