found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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