I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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