You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
