the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize