I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
