The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
