no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
