Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
