just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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