You don't have asthma, your pregnant
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It's like God shit irony all over that family
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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