I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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