My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
