Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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