I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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