no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
God, you're like boner-b-gone
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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