So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
