i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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