Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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