I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
