Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
no you cant smoke seaweed
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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