Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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