She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
