Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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