so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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