i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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