dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
