It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
