isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
