Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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