I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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