he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
