he shaved USA in his pubs
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
