Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
