i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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