i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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