Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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