Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
