i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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