your parents love me but you hate me
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
