More tranny stories later!
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
