He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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