The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
