Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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