And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
