She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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