In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
