Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize