He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
