She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
