I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
ttyl tear gas
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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